The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
