wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
