so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
