Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Randomize
