Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Randomize