Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
