The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize