I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize