just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
