nut hugger
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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