Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
