Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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