I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
