My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Four minutes until I can fart!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
