I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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