dude i'm inner monologue high
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
