i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dignity is for republicans.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
