singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
