Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
