I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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