Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I need moral support for this bender
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
