It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
