I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Randomize
