Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
