So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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