Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
