I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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