I heard we made out
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
