I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
