No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
