I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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