Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
