I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
