just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
