I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
