Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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