u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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