It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize