This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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