just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
