I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
ttyl tear gas
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
