Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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