last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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