I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
