My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
