He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Man, jail baloney is awful.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
