Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize