fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
