Operation Purity has been aborted
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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