my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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