P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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