thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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