I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
