just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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