Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
