Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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