He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
