Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
