Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
