I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
